So we went on vacation....

So, my family and I went on vacation last week. The first time we had all just gone and done something together in literally years. Between graduations, moving, weddings, new babies, holidays, we have seen each other plenty. But it's a real struggle remembering the last time we just up and did something for the heck of it.

So, we changed that and went on vacation. To Washington.

And during that time, I took lots of pictures. So here they are.

On Friday, we rode the ferry from Bremerton into Seattle.

I ordered Cameron to look "artsy."

Good morning, Seattle! :)

Then we acted like tourists and took a Duck Boat tour of the city — half on land, half on water.

    

Alexander was clearly NOT impressed.

A water plane took off literally right next to us. Water EVERYWHERE.

Then we went to the Pacific Science Center and played in a magical room full of butterflies.

Then we went to the top of the Space Needle, which was actually throughly disappointing and you can see it on our faces.

On Saturday, we climbed aboard the U.S.S. Turner Joy, a retired naval destroyer, where we laid in sailors' beds for about 15 seconds before getting weirded out, and Ethan got to sit in the captain's seat. Like a boss.

Then we went for a drive up the coast, where I tried to act like a photographer and take pretty pictures, and I also dipped my feet in the freeeeezing Puget Sound.

Pretty flowers!

Quaint little lighthouse!

Then we went to the park and had a barbecue, at which point I took numerous pictures of "Baby Xander" until he got sick of me, Cameron and I made a valiant attempt at a jumping picture on the dock and we saw a car sink into the ocean (unfortunately no pictures of that).

Hey, at least we tried.

And I also snapped a purrti pic of my lovely momma and Cameron.

Sunday we sat around like the bums that we truly are and did nothing! And Ethan also literally took hundreds of pictures and videos of himself on my phone.

On Monday, we ventured back to Seattle and took a tour of the city's underground.

Cute little sailboat on the Sound. :)

Ethan and Grandpa!

 Semi creepy, but pretty cool.

Old elevator. No longer in operation. Clearly.

Then we went to Pike Place Market, bought some gorgeous flowers for dirt cheap, ate delicious pirozkis from Piroshky Piroshky and sipped Starbucks Refreshers from the original Starbucks. Which tasted exactly like Refreshers from all other Starbucks, but whatever.

And then we left and it was sad.

And in the in-between, our ferry stopped in the middle of the Sound and Cameron thought it was going to sink and her reaction was absolutely priceless; Ethan attacked me while I was sleeping on the floor and it was painful; Alexander LOVED pulling my hair; Cameron took about 519859096 selfies; Adrienne made us some delicious homemade meals; Dad got to eat all the fresh fish he could ever want; Cameron gave her number to the Duck Boat captain, who was like a billion feet tall; I beat everyone in Scattergories; Adrienne got not one, but TWO giant flower arrangements; Mom took the middle seat on both flights because she's nice; and we had tons and tons of fun.

Moral of the story: spend time with your family and go do awesome things. Because I'd be willing to bet your family is pretty rad.

Germany — The Journey

Press play. Read.

 

GERMANY.

I knew this was coming. I knew that, at some point, I would have to write this. The last blog post about Germany. The blog post that would say: "I did it. I did it! I DID IT!!" The last blog post about the biggest, craziest, most fulfilling adventure of my life. The blog post signaling that it really was all over.

I knew this was coming, but I didn't think it would be this hard.

How could I possibly sum up three months of living, working, playing, learning and growing in Germany? How could I sum up all of the discouraging times, all of the incredibly fun times, all of the adventures, all of the trials and all of the accomplishments in one blog post?

I was watching One Tree Hill (a.k.a. my favorite show EVER) the other day, when something a character said hit me:

"I've come to the conclusion that if having things turn out the way you wanted them to is a measure of a successful life, then some would say that I'm a failure. The important thing is not to be bitter over life's disappointments. Learn to let go of the past and recognize that everyday won't be sunny. And when you find yourself lost in the darkness and despair, remember it's only in the black of night you see the stars. And those stars will lead you back home. So don't be afraid to make mistakes, or stumble and fall, because most of the time the greatest rewards come from doing the things that scare you the most. Maybe you'll get everything you wished for. Maybe you'll get more than you could have ever imagined. Who knows where life will take you? The road is long and, in the end, the journey is the destination."

That was it! My German experience all rolled into one fictional character's statement.

#1: Germany did not turn out the way I wanted it to.

I had every intention to travel every weekend, to see as much of Europe as possible, to become a true globe trotter. But I only left the country once. And I guess some people would call that disappointing. A failure. I, however, know differently. Rather than constantly traveling, I was constantly making friends and getting close to the most incredible people in the world.

Germany didn't turn out the way I wanted it to. It turned out better.

#2: I learned that everyday won't be sunny. 

Literally. Germany had one of its darkest winters on record this year, and Frankfurt got some of the worst of it! Coming from places where the sun shines even when it's cold outside, dealing with cloudy, semi-depressing weather for three months was hard.

Figuratively. I had some really dark days in Germany. There were days when I was frustrated with work, frustrated with a culture that was so different than my own, frustrated with doing almost everything on my own. There were times I just wanted to give up and go back home. But I didn't. I kept my head up and kept going.

Once you learn to accept the bad, the good will only seem that much better.

#3: I learned that it's only in the black of night that you can see the stars.

It seemed like just when things in Germany got the hardest — the most overwhelming — something would happen that made it all better. A friend would show up with Cherry Coke (which is kind of hard to find in Germany!) because he knew how much I love it. I would get to do something really cool for work, like meeting Elder Holland. The Lord would make it known that He's looking out for me.

Don't avoid doing hard, challenging things. Don't avoid the hard times. Because it's during those times that you'll discover just how beautiful life is.

#4: I overcame some of my greatest fears while in Germany.

Prior to living in Germany, I had never been out of the country. Not for vacation, not with my family. Never. So, LIVING in a foreign country all by myself was terrifying. I didn't speak the language, I didn't know anyone and I had limited internet and cell phone access. I'm also fairly shy, which made the idea of starting with a completely blank slate in the friend department seem like the end of the world.

But I did it.

I made friends! I learned to live without constantly checking Facebook and always texting my friends. I learned to get out of my comfort zone and stretch my limits. I learned to love the country and people around me, even though I usually understood very little of what was going on. I learned to stand on my own two feet. I learned that I'm capable of doing anything I set my mind to. And most importantly, I learned that there is no fear too big to overcome.

#5: I enjoyed the journey.

The crazy, unpredictable, scary, exhilarating, incredibly fun journey.

For the first little while, all I could do was think about how much LONGER I would be in Germany. "71 days," I thought. "You're halfway done. Only 45 more days!" And so on. All I could think about was that flight back to America at the end of my 90 days in Germany.

But somewhere along the way, I learned that it's the journey, not the destination, that matters most. It's not the end result that you'll remember one day. It's the blood, sweat, tears, hard work and growth that you'll remember. It's all the incredible experiences you have, all the trials you go through and all the memories you make that matter most.  

It's the journey that molds you into the person you're supposed to be. And that's exactly what happened during my three months in Germany. I came that much closer to the person I'm supposed to be. 

There is no way I'll ever be able to adequately describe my experiences in Germany. I find myself looking back on the last three months and asking, "Did that really just happen?"

All I can say is that my life has changed because I went out on a limb and applied for an internship. I am a different person because I took a giant chance on something I didn't know if I could do. I had the most incredible adventure doing something I had never really planned for. I enjoyed the journey.

"Who knows where life will take you? The road is long and, in the end, the journey is the destination."

Go out there and have yourself your own little journey. I promise you won't regret it.

Germany - Day 76

This song has little to do with the actual post, but it sets the mood.

Press play and read.

What Germany taught me this week:

My favorite 6-year-old! He's cute AND British.

I had been in Germany for less than 3 hours when I found myself sitting at my boss' desk. I was tired from the long flight in, stressed about my makeup looking absolutely terrible and scared out of my wits about living in a strange country all by myself. It took every ounce of strength to hold back tears.

I sat there across the table from her. Staring at the black stained wood. Wondering why I had decided to do this.

"You're in Germany right now for a reason, Taylor. You're supposed to be here," she said. I smiled. I couldn't decide if I believed her or or not. "I know it, and I hope you know it, too."

I retained very little memory from that first day in Germany. I was so jetlagged and culture shocked to really grasp anything going on around me. But that moment lingers. And during my 76 days in Germany, I've tried to discover that reason why I'm supposed to be here.

I remember feeling multiple promptings to apply for this internship back in September. I ignored most of them, thinking I didn't have the money to live abroad for three months, nor the desire to leave my friends, an awesome job, my truck, a boy that I had a really, really big crush on, my country, a really great apartment, and everything I knew behind. But I caved. I couldn't escape the thought that I needed to give this thing a try. So off I went!

Application. Tense three-week waiting period. Acceptance. Super tense 4-month waiting period, full of uncertainty, excitement, doubt and anxiety. Arrival.

I couldn't help but think I had made the biggest mistake of my life when I first got here. Where had that hopeful, adventurous feeling of "Germany sounds like fun!!" gone? But now, 76 days later, I can't help but wonder why I ever doubted this place. Why I ever thought I couldn't do this. Why I was so scared of this experience. And, most of all, I've continually wondered about why I'm supposed to be here.

And I came to the conclusion that I'm supposed to be in Germany for people.

To meet people. To watch people. To learn from people. To get to know people. To see a very wide variety of people. To connect with people. To work with people. To watch people grow. To be a part of other people's lives. To let people in.

I'm here for people.

Today I said goodbye to one of my friends leaving on a mission in a few days. And it was really, really hard. Full disclosure: I cried. And I got to thinking about how in the world I managed to get so close to somebody in just two and a half months. How I could be so sad about leaving Germany in a few weeks because this place has become a part of me. How I managed to come to love a country that I still find really strange.

It's because of people.

When I first got to Germany, all I could see were the differences. In people, places, culture. Everything. I would sit across from people on trains and just think, "There is so much more than a language barrier that separates us." None of my friends know what a rodeo is. I tried explaining the American dream to somebody (a German) and they just laughed at me. I told people I drove a truck and they looked at me like I was some sort of mutant swamp creature. At the end of the day, I just felt really lonely and isolated.

Fast forward 76 days.

I was sitting on the train this morning and realized: we're all in this together. I looked at the young Turkish girl across the aisle from me, at the old lady a few seats away, at a businessman dressed to the T. And I realized that even though we have very little in common, we all want the same things out of life. More or less.

We all want to find happiness. We all need safety and security. We all long for love and acceptance. We all strive for success.

And even though our ways of going about these things are different, at the end of the day, we're all just trying to get through this crazy thing we call life. (Or "leben" in German!) None of us were given a road map to get through all the trials and struggles. All the ups and downs. All the pain and heartache. But we're all doing our best to get through it. And that's all that matters, right?

Once I started realizing this, things in Germany got ten times better. Happier. More fulfilling. And I'd be willing to bet the same would hold true anywhere in the world. So stop judging people. Stop dismissing people before you've learned anything about them. Take down those walls and let people in. Whether they be German, British, half Welsh, American, Chinese, or anything in between, people will amaze you. They will astonish you, they will uplift you and they will be there for you. But you'll never know that if you don't take a chance on people.

I took a chance on people and I'm a better, happier person because of it.

Try it sometime.

I took a chance on this kid and now I consider him one of my BEST friends! He's going to CRUSH IT in the Alpine German Speaking Mission!!

Friendsies :)

Germany — 2 down, 1 to go!

Ain't Germany pretty??

Former East/West German border. Semi-eerie.

 

Left: My personal tour guide :) Right: Semi-illegally pretending to be a preacher!

I was in the car a few days ago driving around with my friend Gwyn when I looked at the clock on the dashboard. 10:03 a.m.

10:03 a.m. "What the heck?" It hit me. Like a ton of bricks.

It was March 30th. At that exact moment at 10:03 a.m. on March 30th, I realized that I only had one month left in Germany. I realized that exactly a month from that moment, I would be sitting on a plane waiting to fly back to the States. The clock was literally ticking. Before I know it, it'll 3 weeks...Then 10 days...Then tomorrow. And then I'll be back in Provo.

And I started to think: Am I ready for that?

You know how it is when you're driving on the freeway or something and there's grass on the side of the road just whizzing past? You know it's grass, but all you can really see is a yellow-ish green line for miles and miles. And you try your little heart out to focus on a single patch of grass for a second. But it's just so hard. That grass is moving so fast. 

You finally focus your eyes on a patch of grass. But then, in a split second, that patch of grass is 200 feet behind you. And you're wondering why the heck you couldn't just look at that grass just a little bit longer.

(Or am I the only one that had that experience as a kid??)

I think my experience in Germany has been a lot like that grass. First February, then March, and now April.

When I first got here, all I could see was that seemingly endless line of grass for miles and miles ahead of me. And I couldn't really focus on anything but the sheer amount of metaphorical grass that didn't look like it was going to end any time soon.

I tried so hard to focus on the little things — to take things bit by bit and day by day. I focused in on February and March —doing my best at work, figuring out what foods were safe and what to avoid at the grocery store, trying my best not to get lost on the train ride home, attending FHE and institute even though everyone spoke German, trying to make friends. 

Doing my best to keep my head up. Focusing on being happy.

And like those patches of grass, two months of this experience have flown by. February is long gone and March is on its way out the door. And now, as I'm staring April in the face, I've started to think a lot about the difference between what I expected going into this experience and what's actually happened.

For example, I had every intention of traveling my butt off while I was here. Everything is so close in Europe! Paris, Vienna, Prague, London, Rome, Amsterdam, Zurich. I was going to visit them all. 

However, I've been here for two months and I haven't left the country. And at first I was a little disheartened by that. "What the heck am I doing here, for crying out loud?!" I thought to myself. But then I realized I've had the opportunity to see a lot of Germany! Frankfurt, Rothenburg ab der Tauber, Heidelberg, Aschaffenburg, Berlin, Potsdam, Leest, Dusseldorf and about a zillion little villages in between, along with museums, castles and so, so much history. 

Add that to the fact that I've been able to make several really great friends here, and I'm totally fine with not traveling every weekend. (And even though I haven't traveled every weekend, I have had something to do every weekend, whether it's work, tagging along with the senior missionaries on their adventures, or spending time with friends! There's never been a dull weekend!)

I can't even begin to describe how grateful I am to the people I've been able to associate with here. Making friends was really hard at first – it's just not part of the German culture to be super open with new people. But with a little bit of luck, persistence and, of course, some "I'm a cute American" charm, I was able to wrangle in some pretty great amigos. They've introduced me to really great Italian restaurants. They've taken me to birthday parties and introduced me to their friends. They've seen me eat 8 donuts in one night and didn't call me fat (at least not to my face). They've hung out with me until 2 a.m., watching movies and talking about crazy things. They've sat with me and watched YouTube videos for hours on end. They've given me a giant bag of delicious British candy. They've waited for me at train stations to make sure I don't get lost. They've been my personal tour guides. They've been there for me. They've made this experience so much less frightening. 

And most of all, they've made this experience worth it. (You all know who you are!)

I could go on and on about the many, many things I expected to happen here in Germany (I expected it to be warm by mid-March. No dice. It' still in the 40s and it snowed today! All the walking/working out I do is negated by the massive amounts of chocolate I eat. Can you believe I expected to lose weight here? Europeans do not dress better than Americans. Except for men's formal wear: Yummy. I expected to like riding the train everyday. But three-hours of commuting everyday quickly wears on a person. I will never take my truck for granted again! ), but I'll spare all of you.

On my first blog post about Germany, I included some lyrics from George Straight's "Here for a Good Time." While they all still apply (I really ain't here for a long time...),  one line in particular stuck out at me this week:

"When I'm gone, put it in stone: he left nothing behind."

At 10:03 a.m. on March 30th, I couldn't help but think if my experience in Germany will somehow fall short of what it was supposed to be, or what it could have been. 

But, of course, George had the answer to that: "I ain't here for a long time, I'm here for a good time!"

I'm here to say that my time —albeit short — here in Germany has been filled with good things. Happy things. And I know I will always be able to look back on this experience with so many good memories and lessons learned. 

And for my last 29 days in Germany, I plan to squeeze every ounce of adventure, every ounce of fun and every ounce of happiness out of this place. Because I'm here for a good time! 

My advice to everyone reading this: Stop focusing on that huge, daunting task in front of you that seems so ominous and so endless. Stop staring at that long line of grass, wondering just how far it drags on. Start taking things bit by bit, day by day. Start focusing on those little patches of grass, remembering at every step of the way how beautiful each and every individual cluster is. And before you know it, that long line of grass will be a thing of the past.

Not only will that big task go by much more quickly, but you'll have so much more fun along the way. You'll be able to focus on the wonder and beauty in the little things — all the little things that make up this crazy, beautiful thing we call life. 

Trust me. 

Germany told me so.

Hessen Park with Gwyn! So. Much. Fun!

 

Left: Saalburg! Right: A really pretty church in Bad Hamburg.

My new boyfriend.